Some feeds end in smiles. Others end in tears. This morning, our bolus feed turned into a meltdown — and that’s okay. Here’s what happened, what I’ve learned, and why I’ll keep showing up, formula-stained shirt and all.
Bolus Battles and Big Feelings: A Morning with My Tube-Fed Toddler
By Chelsea, AJ’s Mom | Tubes & Tantrums
Some mornings, it’s not the tube itself that makes it hard.
It’s everything that comes with it.
This morning, I prepped AJ’s bolus feed like I always do — 120ml of warm Kate Farms, drawn up into a syringe. The same routine we’ve done a thousand times. I sat with him, his head resting on my shoulder, his tube cap ready to open.
He was quiet… but tense.
I should’ve known.
The second I started pushing the formula in, he arched his back. He let out that frustrated cry I know all too well. He swatted at the syringe. Kicked his legs. I froze.
In a split second — the bolus feed was over. Formula on my shirt, his clothes, the couch.
And AJ?
Sobbing.
I stopped immediately. Held him close. Whispered that it was okay. We didn’t have to do this right now.
Because here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:
Bolus feeds aren’t just about food. They’re about regulation. Trust. Sensory tolerance.
They’re about slowing down when his body and brain say “no,” even if I wish they’d say “yes.”
They’re about reading a little boy who can’t yet say what he’s feeling.
It wasn’t a good feed day. And that’s okay.
After some cuddles and cartoons, we tried again — slower this time, smaller pushes. I let him guide the pace.
He finished it.
We finished it.
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What People Don’t See
To the outside world, bolus feeding looks quick. Simple.
But they don’t see the meltdown before the meal.
The seconds that stretch into tears.
The emotional math I do every day:
Is he hungry, overstimulated, in pain, or just done?
Some days, we hit our target. Some days, we pivot.
But every day, we show up.
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To the Parents in the Trenches
If you’ve had to pause a feed today...
If your toddler fought every ml…
If you’re covered in formula and frustration…
You're not alone.
You are doing the hardest, most beautiful kind of work — helping your child eat, grow, and feel safe while doing it.
And even if the tube feels like a battleground some days, your love is always the victory.
🍼💙
— Chelsea
Oliver Hartman
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